Lying awake, I stared out the window at the millions of stars that covered the sky. ‘Like tiny jewels’ I heard your voice echo in the back of my mind and a single tear began to roll down my cheek. I let out a sigh, before roughly wiping the tear away and rolling over, showing my back to the stars. I tried my hardest to block them out, but even with my eyes closed it seemed they wanted to stay with me. They were both a blessing and a curse, every time I looked at them I was reminded of you. I often wonder if you think of me at all, while you live your life, or if I was just a distant memory, a blurry figure curled up in the corner of your mind. Did the stars even remind you? Or were you not cursed with that burden? To be reminded of what we had every time you see a sparkle high up in the black world.

The first thing I do when I wake up is to check my phone. Just in case. I knew it was never going to be there, but I could always wish. A girl can hope once in a while. Today was like all the other days, not good morning text. No text telling me to have a good day. No text telling me you missed me.

The normal morning routine took place. Bathroom. Mirror. See I’ve been crying in my sleep. Try to ignore how rubbish I look. Shower. Clothes. Try once again to ignore how rubbish I look. Kitchen. Breakfast. Bathroom. Teeth. Door. Admittedly it is a boring routine, but it is one I have fallen into since you left. My days and weeks are pretty much the same. I’ve become a shell of my former self. No more drawing. No more art. No more rushing to come home to go online. No more addictions to computer. I want to say I miss those things and feelings but I really don’t. The pain of you going away over powers the need for entertainment and hobbies.

I probably sound so pathetic don’t I? I can't help it. I was wrong obviously, my predictions. Just here one day and gone the next. The thing is the last day I talked you, the last day we had together, before you left and broke my heart you didn’t act any different. You even said Goodnight, sweetdreams, talk to ya tomorrow. I think that was what hurt the most. The fact you gave the impression everything was alright before you just slipped away. Not getting the morning text was weird but I didn’t think anything of it, but going on online and seeing you online at the same time but nothing happened, hurt more than anything. Did I not deserve more?

I try to get over you; I know you’re over me. If I wasn’t worth a goodbye, you can’t have loved me. That what I keep telling myself whenever I find myself thinking of you. You don’t and never did love me.